What Is Your Why? (And How to Find It)

What if the same purpose that fuels your career could also guide your parenting? What if the thread that connects your best days at work also explains how you’re wired to raise your kids? In this inspiring episode of the Today’s Mama Podcast, host Rachael Herrscher sits down with David Mead—co-author of Find Your Why and long-time collaborator with Simon Sinek—to explore how purpose isn’t something we separate into “career” and “home,” but something we live out in every role we play.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur, stay-at-home parent, or someone just trying to keep all the plates spinning, this episode is packed with practical wisdom for rediscovering your purpose—and helping your kids uncover theirs too.

One Why, Many Roles: Why Purpose Doesn’t Change Between Work and Home

David opens with a powerful idea: You don’t have a separate why for work and home—you just have one. It’s not about job titles or roles. Your “why” is the unique way you contribute to the lives of others, and it’s present whether you’re leading a team meeting or helping with bedtime.

“If you are a different person at work than you are at home, in one of those two places—you’re lying.” – Simon Sinek (via David Mead)

How to Discover Your Why

David explains that our why is revealed by looking backward—into the stories and experiences that have shaped us.

“Our why is the contribution we make to others and the impact it has on their lives.” – David Mead

The method is surprisingly accessible:

Think about specific, meaningful experiences that made you feel fulfilled.
Look for patterns in how you showed up in those stories.
What was the contribution you made?
What impact did it have on others?

This process often requires outside help—a friend, mentor, or even a therapist—who can spot patterns we can’t see in ourselves.

️ Tool to Try: Start With Why’s “Friends Exercise”—a free tool to help you identify your unique contribution and purpose.

Helping Kids Find Their Why (Even Before They Can Name It)

Kids may not be able to articulate their purpose, but that doesn’t mean it’s not forming. David explains that science shows our “why” solidifies between the ages of 18–20, but early clues often emerge much sooner.

How can parents nurture it?

Look for when they “light up” — Not just excitement, but when they seem deeply fulfilled.
Point out their impact — When someone compliments your child, repeat it back to them and emphasize how they made someone else feel.
Spot the patterns — Are they the helper? The protector? The creator? The storyteller?
Name their strengths — Turn what feels like a flaw into a future strength. Your “persistent” toddler might grow into a tenacious leader.

“The thing that drives me nuts about my kids is often the very thing that will be their superpower.” – Rachael Herrscher

Second Chances and Starting Over

One of the most relatable and heartwarming parts of the episode? The power of do-overs.

Rachael shares how she gives her kids “second chances” by literally asking them to back out of the room like robots and try again—with a better attitude or kinder tone. It’s silly, it’s loving—and it teaches emotional regulation in real time.

David adds that adults could benefit from the same grace.

“We don’t often ask for a restart. But what if we did? What if we said, ‘Let me try that again. I was off.’” – Rachael Herrscher

Why Burnout Isn’t About Working Too Hard—It’s About Working Without Purpose

Many parents come home from work feeling depleted—not because of the workload, but because of the lack of meaning. David reframes burnout as not just being tired, but being disconnected from your why.

“It’s not that people work too hard. It’s that they lack fulfillment and meaning in what they do.” – David Mead

When you operate from your why—even in a hard job—you can end the day feeling tired but fulfilled. Exhausted in the best way.

Building a Home Where Purpose Can Thrive

So how do we create an environment where our families can live out their “why”?

David offers a beautifully simple idea: just talk.

In the busy seasons of parenting, conversations often default to logistics: teeth brushed, food eaten, homework done. But real connection comes in the margins—unstructured time, unhurried space, and simple questions.

“Ask your kids what they care about. Be curious about what lights them up.” – David Mead

Rachael and her family have Sunday night planning sessions on their big bed. What starts as logistics turns into laughter, ideas, and sometimes tears. These shared moments set the tone for deeper connection.

Aligning Your Why

This conversation wasn’t just about career purpose or parenting hacks. It was about alignment—living one life instead of dividing ourselves into compartments.

Whether you’re navigating tantrums or conference calls, your purpose—the unique way you contribute and connect—is already at work. The goal is to notice it, name it, and nurture it.

So ask the big questions.

Spot the small moments.

Give second chances.

And above all—start with your why.