Your Body Is Not the Problem — What Our Kids Learn When We Hide Ourselves

We tell our kids to love their bodies. We say, “You are strong. You are beautiful just the way you are.” But what do we teach them when we won’t get in the pool, avoid the camera, or wear a swimsuit designed to disappear?

This conversation with style coach and body positivity advocate Stasia Savasuk on the Today’s Mama Podcast hits home in the best, hardest way. Because many of us are living contradictions. We encourage body confidence while quietly modeling shame.

Body Shame Doesn’t Discriminate

Stasia describes growing up being teased not for being “too big,” but for being too thin. She was called a stick, a paper cut, and was told she looked like she had an eating disorder. It didn’t matter that she was healthy. It didn’t matter that she was a runner.

“Nobody is exempt from body shame. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like. Shame is one-size-fits-all.”

As she grew older, the commentary changed but the shame remained. Her genetics gave her cellulite, even at her fittest. And instead of being told that this was natural, normal, and okay, the world taught her to treat it as a problem to fix.

“No one ever told me my cellulite wasn’t a problem. It was always treated like something I needed to be ashamed of.”

When Shame Grows Up With You

Stasia’s story resonates because it’s so common. So many of us have spent decades chasing an ideal, apologizing for our appearance, or avoiding certain clothes, activities, and moments of joy.

She talks about always envying her “yesterday body.” The college legs she didn’t appreciate until she was 30. The body she criticized in her 20s that she would do anything to have back now.

“I always hated my today body and envied my yesterday body.”

This internalized criticism becomes our mental soundtrack—even as we do incredible things.

Giving Birth to a New Perspective

Stasia gave birth naturally to an 11-pound baby. Yes, eleven pounds. She calls it a turning point.

“After that, I became my own hero. I realized there is absolutely nothing I cannot do.”

It gave her a new level of appreciation for her body’s strength and purpose. Her hips, long criticized and hidden, had a reason to be. She felt triumphant. For a while.

Until it was time to put on a swimsuit.

The Tankini Trap

Stasia thought she’d made peace with her body. She started wearing a tankini—long shorts, long top, fully covered.

It was her way of showing up. Until she found herself on a beach in Mexico surrounded by women in string bikinis, and suddenly, for the first time, she wasn’t embarrassed by her body. She was embarrassed by her bathing suit.

“I realized I was contributing to the culture of body shame by trying to hide my body.”

That moment shifted everything.

What Our Kids Are Learning

We tell our daughters their bodies are beautiful. But they also watch us avoid the pool. Hide from the camera. Refuse to wear shorts in summer.

They hear us say, “Mommy’s too hot. Too cold. Too tired. The water’s too dirty.”

But what they really learn is: “My body is a problem. And eventually, yours might be too.”

“We can give all the lip service we want about loving your body, but if you won’t jump in the water, the message doesn’t land.”

Choose to Show Up

Body acceptance isn’t about loving every inch of yourself. It’s about choosing to live, move, and show up anyway. It’s about deciding that cellulite, soft arms, stretch marks, and all the rest are not problems.

They’re part of the life we’re living. A life our kids are watching.

Let them see us show up. Let them see us swim. Let them see us wear the shorts. Not because we love every inch, but because we refuse to let shame write the rules anymore.

Your body is not the problem.