On a recent episode of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast, psychologist and author Jonathan Haidt discussed his new book, The Anxious Generation, and the alarming rise in anxiety, depression, and attention issues among today’s youth. Haidt’s research highlights a clear connection between smartphone use, social media exposure, and declining mental health in children and teens.
As parents, we want to give our kids every opportunity to succeed, but the evidence is clear: early and unregulated access to technology is harming their mental health, sleep, social skills, and resilience. If you’re wondering how to navigate this challenge, here are the most important steps you can take to raise a healthier, more focused, and emotionally strong child in the digital age
1. Delay Smartphone and Social Media Use
- Avoid giving young children smartphones. Instead, opt for basic flip phones if communication is necessary.
- Delay social media access until at least age 16. Early exposure is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and self-harm, particularly in girls.
- Use parental controls. If your child has a smartphone, limit access to apps, set time restrictions, and monitor usage.
Tip: Consider a “Wait Until 8th” pledge, where parents in your community agree to delay giving their children smartphones until at least 8th grade.
2. Prioritize Real-World Social Interaction
- Encourage outdoor play and free-range activities to build confidence and problem-solving skills.
- Limit screen time in favor of face-to-face interactions. Kids today spend significantly less time with friends, leading to increased loneliness and social anxiety.
- Promote family bonding by having tech-free meals and modeling good conversation habits.
Tip: Schedule weekly screen-free outings, like family hikes, game nights, or neighborhood playdates.
3. Be Aware of Attention Fragmentation
- Smartphones damage focus and attention spans. Many Gen Z students struggle to read books or watch full-length movies without distraction.
- Reduce “fragmenting time” exposure. Avoid apps that encourage endless scrolling and multitasking.
- Model good tech habits. If parents are constantly checking their phones, kids will do the same.
Tip: Implement a “No Phones at the Table” rule and encourage focused activities like reading, puzzles, or board games.
4. Protect Sleep: No Phones in the Bedroom
- Enforce a strict “no screens before bed” rule to prevent blue light exposure and social media drama from disrupting sleep.
- Remove devices from the bedroom—charge phones in a separate room overnight.
- Establish healthy bedtime routines like reading a physical book or practicing relaxation techniques.
Tip: Use an old-school alarm clock instead of a phone to wake up in the morning.
5. Teach Healthy Technology Use
- Differentiate between “story time” vs. “fragmenting time.” Watching a full-length movie or reading a book is fine, but jumping between apps and notifications is damaging.
- Encourage creative tech use. Instead of passive scrolling, promote digital art, coding, music production, or writing.
- Discuss social media pressures. Help kids analyze online content critically to avoid comparison-based anxiety.
Tip: Ask kids thought-provoking questions like: “How does this app make you feel?” or “Would you say that to someone in person?”
6. Understand Dopamine and Addiction Risks
- Tech addiction functions like substance addiction. Dopamine hits from social media, gaming, and online gambling create cycles of dependency.
- Monitor gaming and online gambling. Excessive gaming and sports betting apps target young boys and can lead to lifelong addiction.
- Encourage delayed gratification. Teach kids the value of working toward long-term goals instead of seeking instant rewards.
Tip: Set screen-time limits and replace excessive tech use with engaging hobbies like sports, music, or hands-on activities.
7. Encourage Resilience & Independence
- Avoid overprotective parenting. Shielding kids from all risks makes them less capable of handling real-world challenges.
- Allow age-appropriate risks. Let kids walk to school, ride bikes, and solve their own problems.
- Foster problem-solving skills. Encourage kids to navigate small failures on their own to develop confidence.
Tip: Give kids “independence challenges” like ordering their own food at a restaurant or planning a family outing.
The Power of Parental Guidance in a Digital World
Jonathan Haidt’s conversation with Dax Shepard on Armchair Expert underscores a critical shift in childhood development—one that parents must actively counterbalance. While technology is here to stay, how we introduce, monitor, and regulate it in our children’s lives can make all the difference.
By delaying smartphone access, promoting face-to-face socialization, setting clear boundaries, and encouraging independent problem-solving, we can help our kids build the skills they need to thrive.
As parents, our goal isn’t to eliminate technology but to teach our children how to use it wisely. With mindful guidance, we can raise a generation that is more resilient, focused, and emotionally healthy—without letting screens control their childhoods.
Jonathan Haidt on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Listen to the full podcast episode HERE or be sure to watch below!
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