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Study Tries to Prove Women with More Kids Age More Slowly

Bringing the entire population of mothers to tears…of laughter.

kara clark • February 27, 2019
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Apparently, some scientists went to rural Guatemala and, over the course of 13 years, studied 75 women and the number of surviving kids they gave birth to. The results were that the women with more kids had longer telomeres—which are a part of DNA integral to cell replication and are associated with longevity.

Conclusion: Women with more kids live longer.

Just…what?

Tell it to my ever-aching back and increasing number of grey hairs, Science.

Look, when all it takes is one kid to sometimes make mere survival the goal of daily life, you really think you’re going to convince mothers worldwide that MORE kids is going to ease the burden??

Nah.

My favorite part of the studyindicated that the women with more kids may actually have lived longer because they had more social support from family and friends while raising those many children.

#yeahduh

I mean, if it takes a village to keep a kid alive, I guess it stands to reason that a village is required to keep mom alive, too.

But I’m not so sure we needed 13 years of science to prove that.

Anyway, #thanksbutnothankscience, because I don’t see a lot of women signing up for more pregnancies and subsequent teenage years in order to add a day to the end of their 90s. Hard pass.

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