It's All About the Frame: Using Reframing to Change Your Mindset

You can describe your life as a horror film or a love story. I choose love. Every time.
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You can listen to our interview with sports psychologist Riley Jensen on the Today's Mama PodcastHERE!

Every once in a while, I feel like life teaches me some important lessons. Some of the lessons are worth sharing, some aren't. This latest lesson is one that I have pondered a lot over the past years, and one that I think is more and more true every day.

Typically, we choose how to describe our lives to others in various forms. The way we present these things can have an auxiliary affect on our lives as well. We see it everywhere from every day conversation, to Facebook, to Instagram, to Twitter. People are constantly giving us clues to their lives and how they feel about their own lives. Positive or negative, we constantly get feedback on people's lives.

I am constantly bombarded with these messages. Here are a couple of examples.

Me: "Hey man, long time no see...How are you?

Friend: "Oh you know, just trying to make it through." (My Friend chose to present his life as a victim)

Here is another scenario.

Me: "Hey, how's it going? It's been a while."

Friend: "It's going great. Seriously. It's a good life."

Me: "I wouldn't expect anything else out of you, how's your cute wife?"

Friend: "Riley, she's awesome. We've been married for over 25 years now, and it just keeps getting better. I am a lucky man." (My friend chose to present life in a positive light).

I am not sure how to illustrate this better than with my own life.

Scenario 1: I am a 40 year old man who is married with two kids under the age of 3 and I have bounced around to 3 different jobs in the last  calendar year. I have struggled mightily in life that has included disastrous events like being benched my senior year at  Utah State University as the Quarterback. I have had over 7 jobs in 16 years. I have been overlooked for leadership jobs in the past because I was single,  and I didn't even get married until I was 37 years old! I am way behind in life because I didn't even purchase a house until the age of 30! Life has been difficult, and when I look around, there are a lot of my friends that have a leg up because their parents can help them with connections, networking, and monetary advantages.  At present, my wife is working, and I am taking care of the kids to help ends meet. I am not sure where my next job is going to come from, and quite frankly, it seems that every time I start to get some momentum, life kicks me in the face. I just can't seem to get a break. Why do bad things happen to good people?

Scenario 2: Am I ever a lucky man? At present I am a husband to a beautiful wife and two children. My wife is an unbelievable supportive woman who is smart, intelligent, kind, and funny. I have been blessed with outstanding parents. They have been huge "Riley" fans. They are always there with a supportive word, encouragement, and belief in me. There are a lot of people with loving parents, but none like mine. I fulfilled a lifetime dream of playing Quarterback in college at Utah State University where I graduated cum laude and debt free. This has been a source of constant blessings in my life. Some of my jobs, contacts, and networking have been, at least in part, because I was able to play football in college. At present, because my wife is so outstanding, and because the Lord is good, I have been pushed to pursue co-ownership of a company called Mountain West Elite in a full time manner. There are so many opportunities with this company. I am blessed that my wife has a full time job and I am able to work from home. This gives me ample opportunity to grow my business and be the husband and Father I have always wanted to be. The future is bright. Gratitude is abundant in my life right now.

So you tell me, which scenario is true? Scenario 1 or 2? The truth is that both scenarios are accurate. At the time of this publication, I choose to frame my life as scenario 2. What good does scenario 1 do me? Absolutely nothing. I choose to be happy. I choose to be grateful. I choose to be content. I choose to frame my life in a way that uplifts others and myself. How do you frame your life? It is ALWAYS your choice how you decide to describe your life. You can describe your life as a horror film or a love story. I choose love. Every time.

About Riley Jensen

Hi, I'm Riley. I am a husband and Father. I am a former college QB. I am a mental performance and life coach. I have a strange relationship with football. I love it, but I know that sometimes it is not good for me. I am a goof ball. I love to laugh. I love to be around people. I love. I am fascinated by people. I find myself curious in almost every situation. I love to learn. I love to grow.

My life is not at all how I planned it, and I think it is perfectly designed for me. I also think that 18 year old Riley would think that my current occupation is the bomb, as it didn't even exist as a degree until I was 18 years old. I love my kids. I sometimes stare at them while they sleep and while they eat? Is that weird? I don't think it is. I think it is a beautiful thing. I also have found complete pleasure in rediscovering the world through my children's eyes. Yes Jack, the moon is "really cool."

You can find more from Riley at!


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