MOMS-You Have 67 Minutes and the Clock is Ticking!

67 minutes. Just over an hour. It’s a narrow window, and you’d better have a plan.
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67 minutes. Just over an hour. It’s a narrow window, and you’d better have a plan.

What am I referring to, you ask? Oh, just the wee baby time slot set aside for moms to have to themselves each day.

It’s those few sweet minutes when you’re not being harassed at the bathroom door, or driving someone to track practice/play dates/piano lessons/the pediatrician, or gently being told while half asleep in line at the grocery store again that one of the many meals you spent so much time preparing for picky eater #2 has been regurgitated down the back of your shirt, and oh-by-the-way-there’s-a-Cheeto-in-your-hair. (This may or may not be based on real life experience.)

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Welch’s recently surveyed 2,000 moms of kids ages 5-12 and found out some things that will surprise exactly zero moms on the planet. But in case anyone else is wondering, the average mom reports for duty each morning (assuming she wasn’t tending to bedtime barfers or comforting the nightmare-ridden) at 6:23am and doesn’t clock out again until 8:31pm. And yes, that’s Sunday through Saturday, 365 days a year.

You know what that means? Moms are putting in as many daytime hours as someone with 2.5 full-time jobs. I know, I know. You’re not surprised.

And if you are, it’s maybe because you’re wondering how you can possibly fit being a full-time dietician, nurse, secretary, administrator, counselor, tutor, coach, taxi-driver…(need I continue?)...into that tiny little 98-hour work week.

But the good news is, there are those 67 minutes apparently. (If anyone sees mine, please contact me immediately as they seem to be missing.) Exactly 67 minutes wherein you can supposedly pee uninterrupted. When you can flip through a magazine without having the pages ripped apart and/or slimed by tiny jam hands. When you can close your eyes and pretend you didn’t spend another 67 minutes today dry heaving over the liquefied peas you had to scrub out of the Rock’n’Play. (Again, this may or may not be based on real life experience.)

Pretty girl reading novel at beautiful beach

Pretty girl reading novel at beautiful beach

Really, what you do during your 67 minutes is up to you. The possibilities are endless, or so I hear. But as for the you-time planning sesh, I wouldn’t waste more than a minute or two on it. After all, the clock is ticking on the 4% of the day sliced out just for you. ;)

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Charlize Theron Parenting is All Of Us

My favorite kind of parent are those who don’t pretend life is glitter and butterflies all the time. Let’s be honest: if your kid has never been in timeout or had that mean-fast-parent-walk head towards them, you should get some sort of medal.