I’ve pre-mourned this day since he walked through the doors of the kindergarten. I knew he’d leave this building some day and I think I’ve been dreading it since he was 5.
Let’s face it, I was pre-mourning the fact that he’d leave my house and go to kindergarten since the day he was born. I literally looked into his tiny newborn face and said to myself: “One day he’s going to leave me and go to kindergarten.”
Nevertheless, here we are, about to close the door on the elementary school experience and walk through that big wild door to Jr. High and the for reals teenage years.
Now that we’re here, I’m surprised at how I really feel.
I can see a little bit of the man he will be.
I can see glimpses of his grownup face in there and little glimpses of his grownup self. He had to do an exercise at school the other day where he had to spend a set amount of money and had to prioritize how it was spent on schooling, vehicles, housing etc. He bought a minivan, well, because that’s sensible since he wants 4 kids. But he also bought a house on the beach {in a sensible town in North Carolina}.
I like his brain. I like who is he becoming.
He’s a good kid with a good heart and a growing sense of humor. I like the things he’s interested in and the way he thinks.
I’m also still realistic. I know that he’s going to get deeper into this thing called being a teenager and that I’ll likely wonder where he went and if he’s coming back. I want to take a snapshot of now.
We can watch Jimmy Fallon together and laugh.
Jim Gaffigan too.
Sometimes he wanders down from bed later at night to catch my husband and I watching a few shows. He knows he can linger around a little longer and takes full advantage. I fell asleep on the couch last night to the sound of my husband and son laughing at Jim Gaffigan on NetFlix. He gets the jokes. That’s kind of cool.
He’s ready.
He just is. I can tell that he’s outgrown elementary school and that he needs more. More out of school, more out of friends, more out of life. He’s ready to get moving.
I’m going to be OK. I think.
It’s exciting to watch your kids progress. I don’t want to freeze him. He doesn’t want to be frozen either. I’m OK.
{I’m not going to lie either. I just counted how many more summers he has left at home and had a small midlife crisis.}
The next phase of pre-mourning? High school graduation.
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