Parenting is one of the most rewarding—and challenging—jobs in the world. While there’s plenty of advice out there on what parents should do, it’s just as important to know what not to do. In a recent episode of their podcast, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen shared the biggest mistakes parents make and how to avoid them. By steering clear of these common pitfalls, you can foster stronger relationships, boost your child’s confidence, and help them grow into responsible, resilient adults.
1. Ignore Their Brain
A child’s brain is constantly developing, and parents play a crucial role in shaping its health. Teaching kids how their daily habits—like diet, sleep, and physical activity—affect their brain can set them up for long-term success. Instead of ignoring brain health, make it a priority by modeling good habits and having open conversations about smart choices.
2. Fail to Bond
One of the biggest reasons children act out is a lack of attention. Kids need meaningful, uninterrupted time with their parents. The best strategy? Spend at least 20 minutes a day doing something they love—without distractions, commands, or corrections. This strengthens your relationship and reduces negative behavior.
3. Don’t Listen
Many parents fall into the trap of lecturing rather than listening. When kids feel unheard, they are less likely to open up. Instead of immediately offering advice or judgment, practice active listening—repeat what they say, acknowledge their feelings, and create a safe space for honest conversations.
4. Rescue Their Kids Too Often
While it’s natural to want to protect your child, constantly bailing them out prevents them from learning responsibility. Letting kids face the consequences of their actions (within reason) helps them develop problem-solving skills and resilience. The earlier they learn from mistakes, the better equipped they’ll be for life’s challenges.
5. Do Too Much for Them
Over-parenting can lead to entitlement and low self-esteem. Kids need to learn the value of hard work and contribution. Giving them age-appropriate chores and responsibilities not only builds confidence but also teaches them essential life skills. A child who learns to work hard at home is more likely to succeed in school and beyond.
6. Fail to Supervise
Giving kids independence is important, but they still need structure and guidance. Knowing where they are, who they’re with, and what they’re doing provides security and teaches accountability. While children may resist supervision, deep down, they feel more secure knowing their parents care.
7. Model Unhealthy Behavior
Kids imitate what they see more than what they hear. If parents make poor choices with diet, screen time, or stress management, children will likely adopt the same habits. Be the example you want them to follow by prioritizing your own physical and mental health.
8. Forget What They Were Like at That Age
It’s easy to expect kids to have it all figured out, but remember—childhood and adolescence are tough. Reflecting on your own experiences can help you empathize with their struggles. When kids feel understood, they are more likely to trust you and seek your guidance.
9. Tell Kids They’re Smart (Instead of Praising Effort)
While it’s tempting to praise intelligence, research shows that telling kids they’re “smart” can actually backfire. When they struggle, they may assume they aren’t smart enough and give up. Instead, praise their effort, problem-solving skills, and perseverance. This fosters a growth mindset and a strong work ethic.
10. Focus Only on What They’re Doing Wrong
Constant criticism without praise erodes confidence and motivation. Instead of only pointing out mistakes, make it a habit to acknowledge and celebrate their positive behaviors. Kids who feel appreciated are more likely to develop a strong sense of self-worth.
Raise Confidant Kids!
Raising confident, responsible children requires a balance of love, guidance, and boundaries. Dr. Amen and Tana emphasize the importance of being firm and kind—setting clear expectations while also nurturing emotional connections. By avoiding these common parenting mistakes, you can strengthen your bond with your child and set them up for lifelong success.
What’s one parenting lesson you’ve learned the hard way? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Be sure to check out the full episode of this interview below!
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