Guys! Guys! Guys!

It's here! A trailer for Star Wars Episode IX!

Let's get to it!

MY HEART IS RACING!

December 20th! Oh you bet the force, I'll be in the theater that night. I don't care if the only seat is one right up in that ridiculous front row where it's physically impossible to watch a film without a chiropractic visit the next day and my date has to sit three rows away. EVERY JEDI FOR HERSELF, YO!

Have you watched the "teaser" trailer a few times now?

Good. LET'S DISCUSS. 

My girl Rey is looking like she's been training. She's standing in the straight up desert wilderness looking intense. Oh, marvelous, because an enemy fighter is coming for her. Are those Kylo's gloved hands? I sort of hope they are because he needs to witness Miss Rey and her ability to back flip over (or maybe onto) your fighter. 

rey

It appears that Kylo is still super rage-y and has maintained his propensity for being scary with that creepy, crackly red lightsaber. And he's having his big dumb helmet repaired. (Kylo, you're so handsome, stop covering up your face.)

helmet

BB-8 has a friend! Yay!

Lando. LANDO. What sort of retinol cream are you using because you are aging marvelously. Thanks for coming back to Team Millennium Falcon. I expect great things. 

poe

It's looks like Poe and Finn are causing trouble, getting chased, and probably being generally disruptive. Hats off boys, you are consistent. 

princess

CARRIE FISHER. *sobs* (While Luke's voice over says "we'll always be with you. No one is ever really gone.") 

Oh...well. GREAT. That laugh. That sounds eerily like The Emperor / Palpatine. (For those of you who aren't the huge Star Wars nerd that I am...he's the OG villain that corrupted Anakin Skywalker, turned him into Darth Vader and generally ruined the galaxy. 

UGH. That guy is just THE WORST.

What does the "Rise of Skywalker" mean? 

Does it mean that our one-named heroine is going to take on the mantel of "Skywalker"? (I vote YES.) Does it mean that Kylo is going to pull his head out and come back to the light side and his family name? (I also vote YES.) 

rise of skywalker

I. CAN'T. WAIT. 

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