The movie is hilarious, highlighting the madness of Christmas for mothers and also the added layer of craziness that family can add to that as we get to meet the Mothers this time around. After a pre-screening of the movie, I had the opportunity with a group of bloggers to sit down with the cast of A Bad Moms Christmas, including Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn, Susan Surandon and Cheryl Hines and talk to them about motherhood, the holidays and needing a Moms Night Out.
So how do you all feel about working on a project that gives Mom’s the freedom to just go wild? It’s sort of like this movement, you know, and moms are like “Yes! We’re going to go out and we’re going to party!”
Kristen Bell: It makes me feel so proud. It’s such an important reminder because look, this is what I say to all my friends: Do you know how many times I’m here? Once on Earth, one time. So like I want it to be joyful, and happy and exciting. And a good portion of that joy, and happiness and excitement is my kids, and then every now and again you hit capacity, and you’ve got to switch it up, and you’ve got to take a girls night. And that’s healthy, and that’s actually healthier than not doing it. And for some reason culturally we’ve decided it is unacceptable to talk about mothers being autonomous women at all, ever.
Self-care, and forgiveness and not feeling ashamed for anything and just being confident in your decisions is a really important part of life that no one talks about. And for me that’s what this movie is about. It is okay to want to go get a massage. It is okay to say to your husband I need seven hours off tonight, point blank period.
Kathryn Hahn: God, I don’t know why I’m feeling very emotional this morning, but it really does feel like such a tribe, too, coming together, doesn’t it? Just to just feel like you’re a part of a community really is comforting to know we have each other’s backs. I also think one of the important messages of both movies is just the lack of judgment and self-criticism, to try to let that go because, like Kristin was saying, we only are mommies to these little people for a very short amount of time, and if you don’t want to spend any excess nonsense worrying about crap, whether it’s what your cupcakes look like, or like you know what I mean? We just spend too much time thinking about other things, I think.
Mila Kunis: I do it [go out], but I just have to say out loud I actually feel bad about it. Like I’m not going to pretend like I have no problem going out my girlfriends. I absolutely have guilt over it. I have an amazing partner who is like ‘get over it. Get out.’ So I do have somebody that’s constantly like pushing me to, you know, be my own human being. That doesn’t stop me from having guilt.
Kristen Bell: It’s okay to feel two things at once. That’s something that’s not said enough.
Kathryn Hahn: Absolutely.
Kristen Bell: It is okay to be a paradox sometimes. So you can feel guilty, and you can also know that you need a night out with your girlfriends.
Mila Kunis: And once I have that night it’s like the greatest sense of relief ever, and I come home and he’s like ‘how was it?’ And I’m like it was so fun, and we have to do it again. Like six months later I’m like I don’t know; I don’t want to leave the kids. It’s the same cycle. He’s like, ‘get out.’ But it’s great. I just feel the guilt.
Kristen Bell: Also, if you didn’t have that guilt–the reason you have that guilt is because you’re doing it right. That’s the truth.
Kathryn Hahn: Yes, totally.
Kristen Bell: If you didn’t have that guilt we would be like, meh, where are your kids? You know, but because you have that guilt it actually means–
Kathryn Hahn: Yes, exactly, exactly.
Kristen Bell: –that you’re doing it right. Again, like you’ve got to forgive yourself for–you’re allowed to be two things at once.
Susan Sarandon: I think this movie says build time for yourself, which is the hardest thing to do, and that we only have ourselves to blame if we don’t find a way to do that.
So what does girls night out look like to each of you, the ultimate girls night out?
Kathryn Hahn: Oh, I mean it does feel like medicine, doesn’t it, when you come up from being with your friends? And then you just have a fresh perspective on like everything else. I love karaoke so frickin’ much. It is such a release and so stupid, and we’re cheering each other on. So that’s recently what I’ve been really enjoying. But sometimes I’m too tired and that sounds exhausting because you also know you have to have a couple of these [mimosas] before one can sing. So I also love a nice digested meal, you know what I mean, where you can take bites, and you’re not inhaling your food, like just actually tasting good food is also really awesome because don’t you feel like you just don’t chew anymore, like you’re just shoveling food in so fast? I feel like that is also very relaxing for me, yes, just to taste food.
Kristen Bell: I feel like all I’m tasting when I’m shoveling it in is like the dishes, the dishes, that pan I need to soak, the dishes. I don’t have enough dish soap.
Mila Kunis: Mine’s pretty same, consistently similar. It involves drinking and food.
Kathryn Hahn: Yes.
Mila Kunis: At a leisurely pace.
Kathryn Hahn: At a leisurely pace.
Mila Kunis: But also with the understanding that at six in the morning I’ve got to get up, get the kids ready for school. So me saying drinking and food is not me saying I get schmammered. It just means I have like–
Kathryn Hahn: Dinner at 6:30.
Mila Kunis: Yes, exactly.
Kathryn Hahn: Home by 9:00 watching Netflix.
Mila Kunis: Yes, but you know what, those three hours are magical.
Kathryn Hahn: The best.
What do you think about your moms on screen?
Kristen Bell: Better than the best. We kind of got to pick. And I think that’s what made this movie really worth it for me. I mean I would’ve done it anyway because I’ll do anything with these girls, but what made it intensely interesting is not just having another situation that we take back, but a situation where we’re taking something back, and we are like thrown like up against a wall because our moms come home, and we are not just overworked moms. We are now rebellious teenagers as well. Again, it is okay to be two things at once.
Kathryn Hahn: Amazing. My mom is going to freak out on the fact that Susan Sarandon is playing her on-screen forever. Yes, it was pretty extraordinary to have those ladies.
All the moms in the movie have a daughter, so curious, was there one mom that you really related to or even off the set that you kind of bonded with?
Cheryl Hines: Yes. I mean sadly, I really relate to Sandy, my character, because I have a 13-year-old daughter, and I just, I love her, and I want to be with her. I like to touch her. I like to touch her hair because she’s got beautiful hair, and her skin. Even when I watch it I’m thinking I mean is that a problem?
Susan Sarandon: I find it a problem not to take a bite out of a one-year-old because they’re just–
Cheryl Hines: I know.
Susan Sarandon: –so–I mean I’m very hands-on, too, and at a certain point you just have to just–it takes everything not to just bite them. They’re so luscious. And I am very physical with my kids, too, and so I identify with that.
If you could tell the young working mom with kids one thing, what would you tell her?
Susan Sarandon: Forgive yourself for not being super perfect. If you’re happy your kid knows that you’re happy, and all the guilt you feel for not being there every second, that your kid will admire you. You’ll be raising kids who have an expectation that you’re more than just a mom. And that’s a really good thing. But it doesn’t matter if your house is messy for the weekend. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating leftovers or ordering pizza. What matters is that they know that you love them and then when you’re there for them you’re really there for them, and you’re happy to be with them. And you know, you’ll have kids then that are much more independent, and boys that really gravitate towards women who are complete women and not completed by them which is really not a good way to start a relationship.
Cheryl Hines: Yes, and I completely agree with what Susan is saying. And when I was a young mom I wanted my daughter to be happy all the time, and it’s difficult because if you are a working mom you have to walk out the door. If you’re working in the house you still have to go to the grocery store. You still have to go out to a movie on a Saturday night. I mean you still have to like find time to do something else besides take care of that one, two, three, four children, however many. But for me what I learned was–I’ve always been very honest with my daughter, and if I’m having a bad day, if I’m upset about something, if something sad is happening, I sit her down and say look, it was really hard to pay the electric bill this month. When my dad was in the hospital, he was going to die. It was just a matter of time. It was very sad time for me, but I still had to take my daughter to school, and I still had to get through the day. And sometimes I would just be sad about it, and I would say ‘just to let you know I’m having a bad day, and it’s not you. And I’m sad. It’s not you.’ And she would say that’s okay. And is there anything I can do that would make it better? And do you want to talk about it? And so she, you know, grew up that way, and she’s still that way. And she’s 13 now. She’s amazing. I’m glad that I sort of shared the good times and the bad times with her so it’s not just–
Susan Sarandon: So you’re human to her. That’s really good.
Cheryl Hines: Yes, I’m human, and she sees me as a person, and I see her as a person, and she’s okay to come to me and say I’m having a bad day. Don’t talk to me. So I think that’s important to just take a little bit off of yourself and say you’re not going to be perfect. There’s not going to be a perfect day. There’s not going to be a perfect Christmas. There’s not going to be a perfect Thanksgiving. There are going to be perfect moments. And when you have those perfect moments it’s great to say oh my God, or we’re having like a perfect moment. And then you know, so the day that you’re not having a perfect moment we’re like–Even a diamond has flaws.
I absolutely loved every minute we had talking to these amazing women about motherhood. Be sure to check out the movie! Take a tip from the Bad Moms and take a break to treat yourself this holiday season. Get your tickets now: BadMomsTickets.com