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Sometimes Having a Baby is a Sprint, not a Marathon

Thursday, August 11th, my due date came and it went.
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Sigh…  At this point I was wondering if this kid would ever come out of its warm belly apartment.  Anticipation at our house was at an all time high, even the dogs could sense it.  It was my last day at work and I chatted with my work replacement on the phone until 5:30pm, making sure she had every last piece of information before I was officially on maternity leave.  As I hung up the phone, sadness came over me.  My husband found me sulking in the driveway and suggested that we should go out to a nice dinner and celebrate as it could be our last night as just “us.”  We headed out to our two favorite places and enjoyed dinner at Tilth and dessert at Molly Moon’s ice cream.

I was exhausted, so we headed home to hit the hay.  Right away I was getting some really bad “gas” pains.  I told my husband “WOW, I don’t think dinner is sitting well in my belly.”  So I grabbed the iPad and looked up “contractions.”  At this point I said “I am in labor!!”

At 12:30am, it felt as though someone smacked my lower back really hard.  Since the only person near me was, well, my husband, I yelled at him “What the heck are you doing?”  Then I realized that he did not hit my lower back, nope, it was my water ~~breaking~~ exploding!  We immediately called the on call doctor.

Me: “Hi, my water broke around 12:30am”

Dr: “Ok, how are you feeling?”

Me: “My contraction are about every 2 minutes and I am feeling ok”

Dr:  “Ok, well it sounds like you are in a good place and sometimes contractions start out pretty strong and then slow down.  Are you a first time mom?”

Me: “Yes”

Dr:  “Why don’t we talk again at 8am in the morning.  Labor for first time moms tends to take some time.  If your contractions are 3 minutes or less for 1 hour, call me back.”

Me: “Ok, that sounds good.”

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8am was 7.5 hours away and my contractions were less than 3 minutes already!

50 minute went by and my contractions were anywhere from 2 minutes to 1:45 minute apart.  My dry heaving was at an all time high.  At this point, we needed to call the doctor back.

Me:  “Hi, its me again, ugh… ughh…” (handed the phone to my husband)

Husband: “Hi, we called about 50 minutes ago.  My wife has been having contractions roughly every 1:45 minutes for the last 50  minute and is in a lot of pain.”

Dr: “How bad is the pain?”

Husband:  “She wants to go in”

(insert sound of me dry heaving in the background)

Dr: “Is that her?”

Husband: “Yeah, she keeps dry heaving while sitting on the toilet”

Dr: “Ok, well, I am going to call you guys in.  Please start making your way towards the hospital”

Husband: “Ok!”

Me:  “The pain is supposed to get worse?  We need to go in NOW, I need some drugs!”

Husband: “Ok, I will go get the car and pack it up”

We hightailed it to the hospital, parked and headed to check in.  Upon approaching the Labor and Delivery front desk, a contraction started.  I grip onto the front desk.  A nurse said “Jenn?”  I look up with a sheepish grin and reply “I am going to throw up!”  She said “ok, follow me your suite.”  I follow her straight to the bathroom where I dry heaved 6 times in a row.  All of the sudden the door swings open and the nurse is standing there and says “Drop your pants and get on the bed, I think you are pushing!”  After a quick check, the nurse expected that she would be delivered within the next 20 minutes.

Me: “I am going to die!”

Nurse: “What?”

Me:  “I am going to die!”

Nursee:  “Ohh no honey, it is going to feel like you are going to die, but you won’t”

Me:  “I need some drugs”

Nurse: “The only way to relieve the pain is to push the baby out!”

Me:  “I need some drugs”

Nurse: “Well by the time we order an epidural, it will take 20 minutes, then it will take 20 minutes to work and well the baby will be here by then!”

Me:  “What is in that cabinet?”

Nurse: “Ohh it has…”

Me:  “Is there whiskey, I don’t like whiskey but I could use something (ANYTHING) to take the edge off!!”

Nurse: “Why don’t you try pushing?”

Me: … mmmmm k…. ugh!

The clock flashed 3:35am.  Was my doctor going to make it to deliver our baby?  As the clock clicked to 3:44am, our doctor came through the door explaining she “might have ran a few red lights.”  I was so relieved.  At 3:46am and 3 pushes later, our beautiful baby girl was born at 6lbs 11oz and 19 inches long.   She came so fast that I did not have time for drugs, epidural, IV or to get out of my street clothes.


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