We’ve all been there: staring at two options, spiraling in overthinking, and feeling paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice. Whether it’s choosing a school for your child, deciding on a career move, or even just figuring out what’s for dinner after a long day—decision fatigue is real.
But here’s the good news: you can learn how to make better decisions. Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast breaks down seven powerful steps to help you cut through the clutter, stop overthinking, and make choices with clarity and confidence.
1. Catch the Noise
“You don’t have a clarity problem, you have a clutter problem.” — Jay Shetty
Before you decide, your brain often spins in circles: ruminating, crowdsourcing, and overanalyzing. Research from Stanford shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality by up to 25%, thanks to decision fatigue.
Parenting angle: From packing lunches to scheduling carpools, parents make hundreds of micro-decisions daily. No wonder you’re exhausted by bedtime. Reduce the noise by batching small decisions—plan meals and outfits in advance so your brain stays fresh for the big stuff.
2. Label Decisions by Importance
“Not all decisions deserve the same energy.” — Jeff Bezos
Bezos’ Type 1 vs. Type 2 framework is simple:
- Type 1 decisions = irreversible and high stakes → think deeply.
- Type 2 decisions = reversible and low stakes → decide quickly.
Parenting angle: Stop treating every choice like life or death. Dinner options? Low stakes. School district selection? High stakes. Teaching kids this early shows them how to make better decisions with less stress.
3. Feel First, Then Think
“We are not thinking machines that feel. We are feeling machines that think.” — Antonio Damasio
Neuroscience shows that emotions drive decisions, while logic justifies them afterward. Ignoring feelings doesn’t create clarity—it causes confusion. Instead, pause and name your emotion: fear, excitement, guilt, love. Then ask: Is this emotion trustworthy right now?
Parenting angle: This is a powerful skill to model for kids. Naming emotions before acting helps them avoid impulsive choices fueled by anger, stress, or peer pressure.
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4. Use the 10-10-10 Rule
“How will I feel about this in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years?” — Susie Welch
This rule pulls you out of short-term stress and into long-term perspective. It activates the part of the brain responsible for forward thinking, reducing impulsive mistakes.
Parenting angle: Next time your teen begs for a late-night party invite, walk them through the 10-10-10 decision making rule. Will it matter in 10 years? Probably not. Will their safety matter? Always.
5. Create a Regret Simulation
“If I choose this and it fails, will I respect who I became anyway?” — Jay Shetty
Research from Harvard shows we often exaggerate predicted regret. Instead of fearing mistakes, ask whether the choice—even if it fails—aligns with who you want to be.
Parenting angle: Kids (and parents) fear failure. Reframing mistakes as stepping stones builds resilience. The real question: Did this choice help me grow into the person I want to be?
6. Ask the Three Identity Questions
“Don’t ask what’s smart. Ask what’s aligned.” – Jay Shetty
- Who do I want to become?
- Which decision reflects that version of me?
- What am I willing to lose to protect that?
Parenting angle: Families can use this together. For example: “Do we want to be a family that values experiences over things?” Then decisions about vacations, spending, and time become easier.
7. Decide, Then Move Forward
“No decision is a decision.” — Ancient wisdom
Indecision creates anxiety. Once you choose, take action within 5 minutes—send the email, make the call, book the plan. Action reduces anxiety far more than waiting for perfect certainty.
Parenting angle: Show kids that small, fast actions build momentum. Instead of overthinking a homework project, starting even a tiny piece reduces stress.
Stop Waiting!
Stop waiting until you’re perfect, ready, or fully certain. Progress builds confidence—not the other way around.
By practicing these seven steps, you’ll know how to make better decisions, protect your energy, and model confident decision-making for your kids.
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