Conversation between Twins in Utero - Today's Mama

Conversation between Twins in Utero

Twin B: Would you quit pinching my butt?
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Twin A:  Only if you would stop sitting on my face.

Twin B:  I’m bored.  Wanna play Twister?

Twin A:  Okay, you go first.

B: Okay.  Put your right hand on bladder and your left foot on ribcage.

A: Got it!  Now you put your knee on belly button and your right hand on sternum.

B: Which knee?

A: How ‘bout both?

B: Okay, cool!

A: Now what?

B: I dunno, um, how ‘bout this—keeping your hands and feet where they are, try turning around.

A: Whoa! That’s fun.  What are you gonna do next?

B: I’m not sure.  I think maybe I’ll just kick Mom.  That’s always fun.

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Twin A: I have the hiccups.

Twin B: Yeah, I had ‘em about an hour ago.  Have you tried putting your head upside down and drinking water?

A: I am upside down.

B: Oh, right.

A: And we don’t drink anything yet, even though we’ve got our sucking reflex.

B: Wait, I thought Mom said I was upside down.

A: You are—to be born, that is.  Mom wants your head down.

B: How do you know what Mom wants?

A: It’s not just Mom, it’s the doctors, too.

B: Well, maybe I can’t help it.

A: Maybe, but it’d still be easier if you were head down like me.

B: You just think you know everything.  I’m not talking to you anymore.

A: Well, we can’t really talk yet anyway.  We’re in water, not to mention we don’t have the slightest concept about how language works.

B: See, you think you’re so smart.

A: I thought you weren’t talking to me.

B: I’m not.  We can’t talk—remember?