Am I Disappointing Everyone?

When I became a mother I was so intent on making everyone happy.
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I wanted to be the June Cleaver of my generation. I had stopped working as an elementary school teacher and figured with all the new time on my hands with a newborn (Ha!) I could do it all. Make a new and healthy recipe each night, no problem! Have all the laundry done and put away each day, of course! Keep all members in my family happy and safe, easy!

This was actually not so hard at the beginning. My son’s nap was my best friend. I got to balance the check book, check my emails and texts, search Pinterest for the best and newest baby food recipe, and make a special dinner. By the time my husband came home I still looked pulled together and he was happy. Two years in, he stopped napping. That cute, sweet baby boy of mine wanted to hang out with me. I had mixed emotions.

Well, one child turned into two. Two extracurricular activities turned into five. I am never home. As many mothers in the Bay Area, we run our children from one place to the other. First school, a thrilling and educational experience that can’t be ignored. Then most of us attend practice for anything from swim team to ballet on a semi-daily basis.  Don’t forget about homework, bath time, oh…and eating. I also had the genius idea of getting a part time job – just 15 hours a week – that I could do from home. Cause that gives me more time. For sure.

My point? I feel like I suck as a mom and a friend now. I don’t cook many meals from scratch like I would like all my Pinterest follows to believe. My kids don’t always have an organic vegetable in their lunch box. I don’t return texts and phone calls like I used to. And now my husband has had to fold and put away his own laundry. But wait, do I suck?

I would like to think I am a normal working mother of two children living at a time that is busy, frantic and plain nuts! Of course my family and friends would not say I suck. Their smiles and gratitude say otherwise. But yes, we have all had to take on new roles as our days are more packed and crazy. I hope my friends understand that I am not ignoring them. And when I look at them with a blank face, it is only that I am drop-dead tired. I am not giving a dirty look. Gosh, I want nothing more than some girl time to catch up and share, well, these complaints and experiences.

I hear this gets better and easier as we form new routines and learn how to adapt to our new environment. But for now, I hope I can be excused for my lack of patience, follow-through and creativity. Anyone with me?

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