Adventures In Bra Shopping
To illustrate my point, I don’t have my nails or hair done on a regular basis (even though I’d love to) because I mostly focus on school supplies, new school clothes, ProActiv solution, and a million hair care products, all for my kids. That may be why I have been wearing the wrong bra size for almost three years: not making myself a priority, which I know many moms are guilty of doing.
My daughter, Kayla, who works at Victoria Secret, coaxed my other daughter and me to the VS semi-annual sale. As I stood at the bin rifling through the sherbert colored discount bras, a young woman approached me.
“Have you had your bra measurements checked recently?” I thought to myself: was it that obvious that I had not?
“Not since the 7th grade,” I responded. She seemed unaffected by my attempt at humor.
“Do you know what size you are wearing?” she continuted.
“A 36 C,” I told her. Suddenly, she whipped a tape measure across my chest and concluded: “38DD.”
At that point, she recommended that I try on their “fit bra” in the dressing room . I stumbled away, dumbfounded. Double D? Impossible. I found my daughters and shared the news. Neither one of them seemed as surprised as I was.
I tried the “fit bra” only to determine I am a 38D. My daughters then rummaged the store for bras in my “new” size. They came in the dressing room with me and a batch of bras for me to try on. As I took off my t-shirt, they erupted into giggles.
“Mom,” Shannon began, “that bra does not fit you.”
“Well, it’s close, Shannon,” was all I could reply. “I thought it was fine.”
“No, it’s not,” she continued. “You have ‘underboob’.”
I stared at her blankly.
Recommended for You
“Your boob is coming out the bottom of your bra.”
“And the top,” Kayla added. “You have ‘spillage’.”
“Can you notice with my clothes on?” I asked.
“Oh yeah,” they said in unison.
“Fantastic,” I replied sarcastically. As I took off my bra and began to try on the first of the daughter approved bras, both girls stopped me.
“That’s not how you put on a bra, is it?” Shannon asked incredulously.
“What?” You slip your arms through and hook it in the back, with one hand. It improves dexterity, ” I smiled.
“Whatever. Your hook isn’t even in the right one,” she said.
Kayla chimed in. “You should hook it in front, around your waist and then bring it up.”
“Listen guys, ” I began, “I appreciate the help, but I have been putting on bras for more than 30 years…”
“Yeah, the wrong way,” Shannon piped up. Spoken like a true teenager who knows everything.
Despite the fact that I was shamed by my lack of bra knowledge, I did discover that the bigger bra was more comfortable. The straps didn’t dig into my shoulders and I didn’t have over- or underboob. Plus, the hook in the back did not feel like a straight-jacket. Armed with my enlightenment about bras, I asked the girls to help me with a new endeavor: underwear.
“Hey, let’s go see what size underwear I should be wearing!” The girls seemed less than enthusiastic about this prospect, but I knew that it was time to retire my holey, unsexy underwear, as well. That is, until I saw the price of underwear–thirty bucks for a piece of cotton string! My “mom” instincts then kicked in.
“On second thought, ladies, let’s go buy some school clothes…”