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Why Is Baby Stuff So Ugly?

Why is all the baby stuff so ugly?
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Why is it all so blooming ugly?

And the stuff that isn’t ugly is so expensive it’s more appropriate to frame it and set it in a shrine rather than having it out where some baby might spit up or poop on it.

I went to three stores to look at crib sets, bouncy chairs, car seats, and other basic gear. Every single thing for girls is pink. Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink. Don’t like pink? TOO BAD! Want something that doesn’t scream boy or girl? TOO BAD. Honestly, one froggy onesie does not a wide alternative selection make. I just want something cute and modern. The worst? It’s better now than it was eight years ago when I shopped for my first child–that stuff was downright hideous.

What gives? Clearly the manufacturers are making things that they think people want to buy. (And apparently what you want to buy is PINK!) So I’m wondering if I’m the one who needs to relax. I don’t want to have an all-pink nursery, is that so wrong? Circus animals? Gingham? Awful patterns and stupid themes? Pastel everything? Babies can’t even see pastels. Would it kill manufacturers to make something cute AND affordable? The answer is yes; it would kill them all dead.

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I’m to the point where I’m going to be sewing most of the stuff in my baby’s room. I’ve even considered getting a glider and recovering it right away. Who buys a $300 glider and then immediately recovers it? Me, I guess.  Ugly chenille nast-o upholstery being the only alternative to some dingy, sage-y twill cover. Why can’t it just look good when I buy it? I could buy a really cute rocker/glider/recliner, and it would cost me the outstanding balance on my car. Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, folks! What do people do who can’t sew?

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