Today's MILF

It seems that today’s moms are a little more stylish and body conscious than moms of old. After all, 40 is the new 30; we’re taking pride in our look. The days of muumuus and house coats are gone with home perms and compression socks.
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Are you Stacy’s Mom? Do you have it going on?

It seems that today’s moms are a little more stylish and body conscious than moms of old. After all, 40 is the new 30; we’re taking pride in our look. The days of muumuus and house coats are gone with home perms and compression socks. When I go to parent-teacher conferences at my kid’s school, it’s Louis Vuitton bags, perfectly coiffed ponytails, over-sized glasses, and knee high boots over jeans. These are moms who know how they look and know how to maintain it. I don’t see a pajama pant or sloppy T in the bunch--they’re Today’s MILFs.

todays milfs

The Housewives, both Real and Desperate, prove that you can be glamorous and a mom. Is it any wonder that 4 inch heels are de riguer during classroom volunteer time? That the elementary school talent show will be 80% Lady Gaga tribute numbers this year?

So here are a few pointers to being Today’s MILF:

  • Practice your wink. Start with the bag boy at the grocery store.
  • Drive a hot car. If you drive a minivan, make sure it’s a Swagger Wagon. Opt for yellow.
  • “Taking the kids to Disney” is a great euphemism for spending Spring break in the capable hands of your plastic surgeon.
  • Smartphone bling. Your smartphone needs to sport more flash than your glitter toes.
  • Nursing bras. Easy access is more fun for everyone.
  • Pick a palette. Make sure all your children’s clothing will match your wardrobe. Nothing is worse than a clashing child.
  • Tell people you have a “gluten-intolerance” so you can keep your figure trim.
  • How do you eat a strawberry? There’s a right way and a wrong way. Know which way is best for you.
  • If your Bugaboo gets an ounce of baby spit, it’s time to replace. (Just make sure it’s not an orange one; you’re not a hipster.)
  • Not sure how to act? Ask yourself WWBS: what would Britney Spears do.
  • Wear a shirt that says “MILF". Subtlety is lost on the masses.
  • Have a daughter? Leopard, hot pink, ruffles, and “MILF in Training” shirts are all available starting in the 6-9 month range.
  • Jon Bon Jovi, Jon Bon Jovi, Jon Bon Jovi

What about you? Do you own it? How are you Today’s MILF?

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