Skip to main content

The Pageant Boy

I was watching Toddlers and Tiaras tonight (as I do) and one of the contestants was a little 6-year-old boy. For the sake of gossiping about him behind his (and his mother’s) back, I’ll call him Johnny...
  • Author:
  • Updated:
    Original:
pageantboy

I was watching Toddlers and Tiaras tonight (as I do) and one of the contestants was a little 6-year-old boy. For the sake of gossiping about him behind his (and his mother’s) back, I’ll call him Johnny. He is an adorable kid with an energetic personality, and a love of pageants. Since he was the only boy competing that day, he swept all the categories plus a number of other awards. Among his spoils were a tiara (his choice) and a crown. He was named King (and will now, presumably, have a small country to govern and a succession question to answer.) Johnny’s mother teared up while watching his obvious joy of performance. She issued a challenge that anyone who didn’t like his pageant participation could go jump in a lake.

Which is why I felt a little sad at begrudging his participation.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I don’t think Johnny, as a boy, should be competing in beauty pageants, it’s that I don’t think that anyone should be in a beauty pageant.

Scroll to Continue

Recommended for You

The whole culture is utterly creepy to me. Watching one mom tear up because her 7-year-old “looks like a 16-year-old!”...I’d be crying if my 7-year-old looked like a 16-year-old, too, but for the opposite reason. The only thing that threw me about Johnny was that he was thrilled to be performing; he was genuinely having a good time.

So often when we see these kiddie pageants the babes are about 2 pixi stix away from having a total meltdown. The moms appear to be doing their best to balance living vicariously, and tarting up their daughters in a way they wish they’d been tarted up. I just don’t understand why you’d teach your 4-year-old girl that “shaking it” is the best way to get the attention of adults; I don’t care how much fun you claim she’s having. Make-up, spray tans, flippers, and artificial “graceful” movements. The whole thing weirds me out, whether it's a girl or a boy.

Am I missing something?

Related

photo1

Boys Will Be Boys

In March and April, my then-two-year-old got a combined total of 7 stitches, and yesterday, my five-year-old got a cast. I'm feeling like a bad mom.

Aulani Hawaii 020

Carina's 2011 Recap

One day I was cleaning the filthiest toilet in the house, on my hands and knees with a toothbrush and Comet, and I thought to myself, “Huh. I bet I’ll never see Hawaii.”

SleepingBaby

Raising Boys to Be Men

Genderless kids and gender wars are from crazy town. I want to raise my boys to be strong men. Here's my plan: Raising Boys to Be Men

egsquint

What's Your Tooth Fairy Like?

My oldest lost his first tooth a year ago: front and center. The tooth fairy left him a dollar under his pillow. I admit it, it seemed a little rich to me. A whole dollar? How many teeth is he going to lose again?

adam yauch RIP MCA

RIP MCA - Beastie Boys Adam Yauch Passes Away

We got the news today that Adam Yauch, MCA of the Beastie Boys, passed away after a three year long battle with cancer. And we're heart broken.

Susan Powell

The Tragedy of Susan Cox Powell and Her Children

I'm heart broken about the deaths of Susan Cox Powell's children, and the tragedy of their loss.

preschool graduate

Sending Your Baby to Preschool

The first time I watched my eldest walk down the stairs to the neighborhood preschool my heart squeezed so hard it hurt. I was definitely more nervous than he was.

bigstock-Whats-Your-Problem-Portrait-O-440253275

When Did Pink Get so Loaded?

When my 3 year old son spied a huge pink Barbie car at Costco last Christmas his eyes lit up with wonder. “I want THAT!” he said breathlessly. I’m pretty sure that means he’ll be a swishy, Friend of Dorothy, out and proud gay.