I’m currently living a life without caffeine. Gang, I’m here to tell you, it’s a challenge that no mortal woman should have to face. Full disclosure: caffeine does a number on me. If I drink caffeine after 7pm, I can’t get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning. Even a small dose is enough to keep me revved for hours and hours. I can’t even finish a 12 ounce can of Coke because I start getting those lovely caffeine jitters (let’s not talk about the time I drank that Red Bull.) But absolutely zero caffeine at any time of day or in any social situation? Kids, it’s rough.

As sensitive as I am to the jolt, my babies are even more sensitive, and that’s why I stopped. Some women can nurse and drink caffeine--even at the same time, so fancy! However, if I have caffeine and then nurse, I have a crying, screaming, over-tired baby on my hands. This even extended to the small amount of caffeine in chocolate with my first two babes. Yes, no chocolate for 3 months after those two were born; they’re such jerks.

A newborn means I’m back on the No Caffeine Wagon with the rest of the listless health nuts. I did it for a year with my first babe. 12 months without caffeine; it was a desert of sad exhaustion. I lasted 6 months with my next babe: caving in one desperate morning in the face of marathon meetings and endless projects.

I miss it! I miss ordering a Diet Coke at lunch with friends. I miss the crack of a can at my desk to help me work after a long night. We have so many morning cuppas and after dinner espressos, runs for a fountain drink at the Sev, frappachinos on a summer day, all rituals tied to caffeine in its many delicious forms. Can I hear it for a burger and Coke, for the love of America?!

But here I am, drinking a gallon of water a day, being all healthy, a good mommy for my kids, and yawning every step of the way.

What’s the countdown to when I’ll cave?