I couldn’t find that ridiculous flier. The one that was accompanied by about 15 other compadres inside my kids’ backpacks at the end of the twins’ kindergarten and the youngest’s first preschool year.

Piano teacher with one room to rent, Steinway B to share for practicing, Sunset District. It couldn't have been more perfect if I had written out my ideal scenario and tacked it to the conservatory's "Housing to Share" rental notice board.

In essence it said “Get you baby on our waiting list now for our outstanding academically oriented pre-school or he/she will never be able to get into an Ivy League School or any fine University.”