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How to Get Rid of Fruit Flies

My house is infested with fruit flies.
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Loads of them. That’s what I get for having kids who steal fruit from the neighboring orchard. A pox upon my house.

Luckily, my sister in law sent me this . . .

I’m posting this straight out of an email my sister in law sent me . . . because it’s informative . . . and funny.

Editors Note:We are allowed to make polygamist jokes because we live in Utah. Even though most of them live over the border in Arizona. We are also allowed to abbreviate potty words in common general communication . . . because we live in Utah. (and because that way I can still post it on this family friendly web portal)

From Shellie:

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Sup? So I have read many a ways to kill the effing fruit flies and I have tried a few but this is what has worked for me.

1.Take the garbage out every day. Yep it sucks but those flies multiply and replenish the earth faster than the polygamists do.

2.Don’t leave wet towels, wet sponges, dishes or children in the sink for longer than like an hour. Since I could care less if the dishes were done before I slept I would always leave them out. No bueno when it is fly season.

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3.Pour bleach down your disposal. For some reason the flies like to mate in cold, dark, wet places. Who knew?

4.The flies are attracted to fermenting fruits/veggies. I try to keep all fruits and veggies in the fridge but if they are not supposed to go in the fridge (tomatoes, ripening peaches, garlic, onions, etc.) I try to keep them as dry as possible. No juices flowing out of any nook or cranny.

5.I have found three techniques that have worked to catch those mother effers

A.. Place a piece of fruit in the bottom of a glass or plastic jar. (Like the ones for jam). Cover the top with plastic wrap and secure with a rubber band around the top. VERY CAREFULLY poke a few holes in the plastic. NOT BIG ONES!!! The diameter of a round toothpick works well. Leave on the counter and watch. The flies are attracted to the fermenting not the sugar or fruity smell. They will fly to the jar and go through the holes. The can get in but they can’t figure out how to get back out. Stupid flies.B. Same as above except instead of fruit fill the jar 1/3 full with water and add soap so there are bubbles. You don’t have to put the plastic on because they are attracted to the smell so they fly to the bubbles and get caught in them when they land. Stupid Flies.C. Once again same as #1 but put vinegar in the jar. You will want to cover it with plastic wrap though. Stupid Flies.

6.Go Mister Miyaggi on their a$$’s and smack them right out of the air! I am actually pretty good at that one. I’ll be clapping all over in the kitchen killing them and my kids think I’m crazy.

Much Fruit Fly Killing Love,


Editor’s Post Script

Take that stupid flies!

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