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Gardening for the Overly Ambitious and Minimally Informed

This was going to be the year that I got the hang of gardening. The year that I roasted green chili’s grown in my own yard. The year that I managed to keep a few hanging baskets alive. (I dream big, people.)
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This was going to be the year that I got the hang of gardening. The year that I roasted green chili’s grown in my own yard. The year that I managed to keep a few hanging baskets alive. The year that I turned my deck (my favorite place in the world) into a lush oasis of awesome.

So, if we could all hop in our DeLorean and take a trip back through 2010 so far, here is what you’d see:

January 2010:

Hear Gayla Trail, blogger behind You Grown Girl, speak at Alt. Am inspired.

February 2010:

Head to the library. Check out 3 books on gardening. Depart library with child-like enthusiasm.

March 2010:

Read post from Karen Walrond chronicling her inability to garden or gamble. Find her life list goal to “grow a flower from a seed” inspiring. Laugh my ass off at her “Gambling Dementor” analogy.

Read post from Allison Czarnecki chronicling her vegetable garden system. Think to myself, “she’s doing this with egg cartons? I can totally do that.” Consume eggs like woman possessed.

Read encouraging post from Nici Holt Cline as she launches the Virgin Harvest group. My mouth waters at the thought of enjoying an heirloom tomato from my garden.

Head to the store and purchase seeds. With gusto.

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Zinnia, morning glory, pepper, and heirloom tomato seeds are lovingly placed into their egg carton incubators. Strawberry...uh...“bulbs” and placed in small pots.

April 2010:

April 4: First sprout emerges! (It’s a Zinnia!) Encourage my toddler to blow kisses to the sprouts. Because if you want something to grow, you need to love it.

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April 6: It snows. Congratulate self on the fact that seedlings are resting snugly in my office.

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April 18: It’s warm! It’s been warm! I have a sunburn! Decide that spring has arrived and transplant seedlings.

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April 18 (later): Watch in horror as my rotten dog plucks my pepper seedlings out of the pot.

April 18 (a bit later): Am too distracted my the bliss of eating al fresco to notice that my toddler is following the dog’s example and plucking morning glory seedlings out of the pots.

April 22: It’s snowing. On my seedlings. My TOMATO seedlings. Am angry. Haul strawberries and a lone surviving Zinna seedling back into the house.

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April 23: RIP tomatoes.

May 2010:

May 10: Admit to self that everything outside is dead. Head to nursery and purchase Geraniums, Fuchsia and Petunias for hanging baskets and front stoop pot.

May 10 (later): the sky turns dark, wind starts blowing, and it begins to rain. Call husband.

Me: “Hey, I just spent $30 on plants. The temperature isn’t forecasted to go below freezing. The weather looks bad, should I plant them anyway?”

Him: “No!”

That brings you up to speed. I’m hoping for lovely weather the rest of the week so I can liberate my nursery plants from my garage and strawberries from the window in my bedroom. But that Zinnia is staying put - I’m going to get that sucker to flourish if it KILLS ME.

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