I grew up with a mom who really excelled at traditional mothering. It was her whole purpose and focus in life and she was, and still is, the very best mom and an even better grandma. We always had a hot breakfast and homemade food. She sewed our clothes, cut our hair, and made us the absolute best meals. Connie did gardening and farm to table type shiz before that was the hipster thing to do.
And holidays? Oh man, holidays at our house were the business. But the thing is, my Connie’s love of that sort of celebrating is totally organic. She just really likes to do it and it makes her really happy. She doesn’t do it for Instagram, she doesn’t post it on Facebook, she doesn’t even own a tripod or a DSLR.
I’m not Connie. I forget crap all the time and birthdays and holidays and events requiring social gatherings and decorating just stress me out because #1. stuff and #2. effort.
I have bins full of holiday decorations, don’t we all? But the last few years they’ve just bugged the crap out of me and I find myself getting later and later and less and less excited about putting up any decorations I do have.
I have some pretty great Halloween stuff but it’s all still in the attic (surprise!) and so far, on October 8th, this is about as much as I can muster:
That’s right, a skull and cross bone pirate flag I Amazon’d for $8 flying high over my front door. My kids think it’s great, and it mostly gets me off the hook for feeling too stressed out to drag the stupid bin down from the attic. I might get to it, I might not.
If I don’t string up a burlap banner with the words “A U T U M N” over my mantle, will fall still happen? If I don’t wear a wide brimmed hat with a duster sweater and take photos of my children posing (but not posing too hard) in various shades of crimson and mustard and buffalo check whilst frolicking in the leaves, can we still enjoy the crisp weather? If I don’t spray paint a metallic pumpkin to make it extra spooky, can we still eat candy corn in good conscience? If our costumes aren’t pieced together and themed from a movie or tv series my kids have never seen, can we still go trick-or-treating?
All I’m saying is in this house, a pirate flag is enough. And if you buy your kid’s costume at Costco like I did, that’s totally cool too, and efficient because we basically live at Costco. Maybe you make them wear the same costume two years in a row, who am I to judge?
I may or may not get the extra energy to drag my other Halloween stuff out of the attic and if at some point I do, that’s okay. If I don’t, that’s okay too.
Maybe you’re like my Connie and you love going the extra mile. Holiday decorating is your jam! I’m secure enough to realize that my enthusiasm, or lack thereof, for holiday decorating and party planning and other traditionally allocated mothering duties doesn’t dictate whether or not I’m actually a good mom and that maybe, just maybe, we’re all just doing what feels right anyway.
So, just a pirate flag then?
Now, who wants a frozen pizza?