Writer and content creator, carb lover, wife, mom to three boys, Olympic Weightlifter. All I do is win, except when I don't, which is often...

More from this author »
RECENT PINS

Bad Baby Names – Just Say No…

Just Say NO To These Baby Names!

We’ve talked hipster, we’ve talked popular, so let’s talk just plain bad.

Bad baby names that is.

I mean, to each their own, right? Your kid, your choice. I just need to know at what point it became acceptable to name a child Jathan (say it out loud…)?

Let’s be real here, I’m not your judge, jury or executioner. I’m just a passive observer with with three kids of my own, and a platform for speculation.

The Huffington Post noted:

“Unique names may have some benefits such as creating a more individual identity, but they run the risk of promoting separateness, which is linked to narcissism,” W. Keith Campbell who co-authored this study and the book The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement with Twenge.

There might be other long-lasting effects. Children with ‘misspelled’ names can have difficulties with spelling and reading David Figlio, a researcher at Northwestern University in Illinois, told Live Science.

“You have the child named Jennifer spelled with a ‘G,’ her teacher says ‘Are you sure your name is spelled that way?’ That can be incredibly hard on a person’s confidence,” Figlio said.

A unique name spelling isn’t really that unique when you say it out loud anyway so why the extra hassle? Swapping consonants and adding extra vowels seems to be more of an exercise in annoyance than a successful effort to try and stand out in a crowd. With most people I’ve talked to, attempts at unique spellings are perceived as shortsighted and can come across as ill-conceived and even uneducated.

Yikes!

Aside from cultural naming iterations (John/Jon) which are totally fine and expected, can we just agree that if it sounds like an “A” you should probably just use an “A” and definitely not multiple “A’s” because less is more, okay?

We can thank a Reddit thread for laying most of the groundwork for this list, but I combed through and found 50 of my personal favorites. Please enjoy (and abstain from using it as a resource) and feel free to add any additional gems you may have heard in the comments below.

  1. Elizabreth (good old Lizard Breath)
  2. Mhavryck (pronounced “Maverick”)
  3. Aliviyah (better known as “Olivia”)
  4. Neveah (Heaven spelled backwards)
  5. Danger
  6. North West (Saint was also given honorable mention)
  7. Harley Quinn (patron saint of romance novels)
  8. Beberly
  9. Hellzel
  10. I’munique (but really)
  11. Rage
  12. Phallen
  13. Like (or “Lyke” if you want to keep your vowel options open)
  14. Mazen (‘Mazen Grace, how sweet the sound…)
  15. Phelony (sure)
  16. Kaydenc
  17. Kollyns
  18. Ayvah
  19. Bexleigh
  20. Fayt
  21. Mayghynne (it’s still Megan out loud)
  22. Aleckxis (*head desk)
  23. Abbygail
  24. Eyzik (def. not bibilical)
  25. Lynkin
  26. Arson (insert prison joke here)
  27. Oaklyn
  28. Berklee
  29. Kynzleigh (where feminism goes to die)
  30. Arikah
  31. Xero (to hero?)
  32. Courtenay (NOT Courtney)
  33. Spurgeon (you can thank the Duggars for this one…)
  34. Saydee
  35. Brekkyn (don’t go brekkyn my heart)
  36. Bryzon
  37. Tearinyee ( with siblings Fashisym and Dyctaytor)
  38. Maysun
  39. Graysin
  40. Paizlee (a pattern gone very, very wrong)
  41. Makynlee (bff’s with Paizlee)
  42. Haizlynn (other bff with Paizlee and Makynlee)
  43. Daxton
  44. Weld
  45. Braxtin (friend of Hicks)
  46. Laekynn
  47. Felyxx (one x short of a triple)
  48. Taygen
  49. Zaiden
  50. Semaj (that’s “James” backwards, ya’ll)

Bonus Round!

Because we just can’t . . .

These are all comments on our site as well as from Facebook of ACTUAL names of human beings:

  • How about “La-Sha”, that’s pronounced LaDasha. Yes you’re suppose to pronounce the “-“
  • My favorite as a teacher is Shithead pronounced shith-aid. Poor kid.
  • Ariolla
  • Thorzander
  • Drizella
  • Years ago I did a long term sub job for kindergarten and had a student named, God. Can you imagine? “God, come sit down on the carpet.” “Make good choices, God.” His nickname was Bones??
  • Nefarious
  • Danger
  • MyAngel
  • Aaerrikae (a.k.a. Erica)
  • Chaos
  • Izraella
  • Abcde
  • Candida
  • Buckshot
  • Multiva
  • Optimus
  • III (Like the Roman Number III)
  • Alyexx
  • Ciewbaqua (like Chewbaca)
  • Lemongello
  • Orangello
  • Placenta
  • As’shole
  • Female
  • Melena
  • C’ana
  • Shawnathan (like Jonathan)
  • Clercilla
  • Chlamydia
  • Gorgeous George (female)
  • Candida
  • Mashley

More on TodaysMama.com

50 Of The Most Hipster Baby Names

What Birth Really Feels Like For Your Baby

Birth Stories

Tags: , , , ,

Leave a Comment

Comments (83)

  1. Wendy 09/01/2016 at 12:03 pm

    I too was a teacher- how about Delove Love!!? And a new shudder- Savy- pronounced Savvy?!! Then of course there is the child of the famous actor- Apple! It Really makes me shake my head and Worry about these kids And their Parents!!

  2. Maria 08/21/2016 at 7:55 am

    Abcde … Hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahha sorry lol. I shouldn’t laugh but is this legit!!

  3. Kelly Giaume 08/21/2016 at 4:33 am

    I had a boy named Zarquevianne in a class I was working as a substitute teacher.

  4. Regina 07/19/2016 at 9:17 am

    I have a running list!!
    Here are some of my top picks:
    De-Zyre
    Never
    Khnalij (knowledge)
    Syrenahti (Serenity)
    Kynnyddy (Kennedy)
    Jeremah (Jeremiah) (missing something…)
    Wisezah (Why-zA-uh) (again, missing something?)
    Jihad (IKR? Creepy.)
    Long Life
    Fulla Joy
    Queen Latifa (true fan right there)
    So many more. You can’t make this up!!

    • Nidhi 08/22/2016 at 3:16 am

      I had a Japanese friend named Susu
      And a Burmese friend named YahYah

  5. Lisa 07/16/2016 at 12:39 pm

    I was an instructor at a summer theatre camp – one summer we had two students (they were sisters) named (no lie) Ovaria and Fallopia.

  6. Krista 07/14/2016 at 9:54 pm

    Hehe, my kids have somewhat terrible names in that they are off the wall. But I think they are spelled fairly phonetically.

    My husband and I couldn’t agree on names so we went straight for high fantasy. I gave them normal middle names to go by if they want to.

    I have Casdia Lynn(Kaz-dee-uh), Kevadi Chrstopher (Keh-vah-dee), and Cthari Steven (Kuth-ar-ee). If I’m blessed enough to have anther child, and its a girl, she’d be Kylita Joyce (keye-lee-tah), not sure on boy names.

  7. Michelle 06/16/2016 at 12:32 am

    I was recently introduced to my friend’s foster child, Cittaha, apparently pronounced Kit-tay-ah. I am so glad I had this explained to me in writing before I meet her this weekend! She gets called “Kit” or “Taya” but of course, Kit is spelled “Cit”.

    My parents named my sister Rachel, but spelled it Rachelle. So her entire life she was called “Ra-shell” by people who didn’t know her, and her name was spelled wrong. She legally changed it to Rachel when she was old enough.

  8. Dana 06/15/2016 at 11:24 pm

    I work in a daycare and we have an Alexzandr. (grammar kill me now)

  9. Barbara 06/05/2016 at 1:07 am

    Had a student named “Misty Dawn Hayes” and one who had her name spelled creatively- Tiphenye (for Tiffany). Know a young girl whose parents named her Chenille for the soft fabric, but they pronounce it like the designer Chanel.

  10. April 05/28/2016 at 1:22 am

    NICU nurse here.
    We had twins Named Luscious and Lovely with a last name of titts. We have has ffffst which would be “forest”. Cashmonae and Cashmillionaire. There has been Ladynasty which is actually La Dynasty. Bitche which was prounced Bishay….