Carina has been typing on the internets before there was a www in front of everything. This is why she’s cranky and wants to know when you’ll get off her lawn. She resides in a hopelessly outdated home in the Mountain West with a mathematician and three children hell-bent on destruction. Her laundry is not done, but her Twitter is totally up to date. Carina does not have a Tumblr, because get serious.

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Valentine’s Ideas Moms Actually Want

If you don’t know where to start for Valentine’s Day this year, I have some ideas. Hop on these fast so they’ll arrive in time and you can be the hero.

Let’s start with these pink druzy earrings from Amulette Jewelry, which are out of control. Stunning.

rose gold druzy studs

If your main squeeze is kind of a softie, I recommend this family of love birds on a gold chain. You can custom order the number of kids you have as baby birds.

love birds with eggs

 

If your baby mama is more rock ‘n roll, a bleeding heart from Lusasul should fit the bill.

Bloody Heart

This gorgeous, warm, and modern square sapphire ring from Prismera:

Square Sapphire Ring from Prismera

Is your wife the hippest? How hip is she? Survival of the Hippest crafts hashtag and @s for your girl

survival of the hippest necklace

Do you wish you were the type who could remember flowers at least once a month but you always fail? Sign up for Darlybird’s Earring of the Month Club and a new pair will show up like magic on her doorstep all year. Who’s the hero? You are.

geometry earrings from darlybird

 

Step up your chocolate game and replenish her secret chocolate stash with a velvet heart from Leonidas–the Belgian chocolate masters. Every year I recommend these and every year someone calls me up crying because they’re so good. Is it cheap? No, goofball, it’s GOOD. If you want cheap, pick up some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Chocolates from the drug store.

velvet heart from Leonidas

Get some good flowers. Do you know what aren’t good flowers? Red roses with babies breath. Red roses with babies breath are from 1987 and you need to get better at flowers. Call up your LOCAL florist and ask them to create something from the flowers that they have. You can tell them things like, “She doesn’t like carnations” or “She loves tulips” and a real florist will create something awesome and have them delivered, often for cheaper than you can find them online.

no red roses with babies breath

What else does your wife really want for Valentine’s Day? For you to get up with the kid and leave her to sleep in–while you’re cleaning and folding seven loads of laundry. Get on that.

 

west elm bed

 this perfect sleeping-in bed is from West Elm

Because the truth is that moms just want you to think about what you’re getting them in advance. A day to sleep in, or cleaning out the fridge, scrubbing the kitchen, and getting take out for later is more awesome than grocery store chocolate samplers. Whatever you get, include a love note and you’ll be golden.

But seriously, make a plan, don’t be this guy:

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Comments (5)

  1. Erica 02/12/2014 at 2:41 pm

    I’ll never forget the Christmas when, after exchanging gifts, I asked my husband, “Did you go to Target without a plan, wander around, and buy a ridiculous amount of candy?” “Yes,” he said. That SNL skit is way too true, lol!

  2. Andi Gleeson 02/12/2014 at 9:28 am

    I love that @ jewelry! Very cool!

  3. Rachael Herrscher 02/10/2014 at 11:50 am

    Best line: Red roses with babies breath are from 1987!

    • Becky 02/12/2014 at 3:17 pm

      I’m with ya! My fav line ever!

  4. Amy Allen Johnson 02/10/2014 at 9:57 am

    That SNL skit had me busting a gut.. seriously, the bumble bee holding a heart?