Stretch with me here. Miley Cyrus and my DIY adventures have some eerie similarities, yo.
1. Wrecking Ball
– Miley Cyrus rode a literal wrecking ball while naked.
– I started peeling our bathroom wallpaper off 11 months ago, then we took sledgehammers to the whole room. That part feels similar enough. The difference is that our bathroom is still an undone mess and I have yet to be naked in it again.
In related news, my husband has no idea that I married these images for public consumption. He’ll be thrilled in the not-so-thrilled way. The only thing worse would be me asking an innocent question like, How do you access the ceiling for our cathedral stairwell?
2. Works In Progress
– Miley Cyrus is a work in progress and is trying to find her own personality.
– My house is a work in progress and I’m trying to find our home decorating personality. Bicycles? Old wood? How do you feel about the color orange?
3. Blanket Apologies
– When provocative photos of Miley Cyrus leaked in 2008, she issued a blanket statement: “I am going to make mistakes and I am not perfect. I never intended for any of this to happen and I am truly sorry if I have disappointed anyone.”
– That’s pretty much what I say when I overspend money, underestimate needed time, and overuse my husband’s skills on a DIY project.
4. A Sense of Humor
– Miley Cyrus co-starred in LOL with Demi Moore in 2012. The film was unsuccessful.
– When my husband told me how long our bathroom remodel would take, I said, “LOL.” At this point, any and all timelines have been unsuccessful.
5. Let’s Rethink That
– We installed new light boxes for vanity lights and then decided to rethink that and move them.
– Something tells me Miley Cyrus’s new bowl haircut needs a rethinking moment.
6. Things Get Messy
– Call Miley Cyrus a PR masterpiece or a royal mess.
– Call my bathroom project a glorious restoration or a freaking nightmare.
7. Sometimes Damaged Goods Are More Beautiful
– Would anyone wish Miley a squeaky clean, never mussed life? Would your own life be as charming without the valleys you’ve forged through?
– Old things, banged up things, things with character. Isn’t that what we DIYers seek in the antiques stores, curbsides, and rescued things? (pictured: hauling out some old tobacco barn wood)
8. Never Finished
– Miley Cyrus is 21. She’ll makeover this makeover a dozen more times. Madonna did.
– Don’t tell my husband, but that’s pretty much how I envision our house. What the what?
-That Bangerz Tour looks incredible and expensive.
– Things that look incredible and expensive at that stylish store are the reason we’re thankful for Lowe’s. Do you think the guy at the Lowe’s lumberyard knows who Roberto Cavalli is?
10. Household Bans
– British Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife, Samantha, have banned their young children from watching Miley Cyrus on TV.
– My husband has banned me from adding any DIY projects to our to-do list. I wonder why. Do you notice any themes involving my husband here??