Mama of 3. Founder of and Click Retreat, a photography and social media retreat for bloggers. TEDx: What?

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How to Have the Sex Talk With Your Kids

Well. We just crossed “that” bridge.

I knew it was coming soon and it’s been on my mind for a while.  I almost felt like I was in a race with some kid on the playground.  Who was going to get to my child first?

Time to Prepare

I reflected on how I heard it (from Howie Mandel).  “Where Did I Come From?” *cartoon nudity involved*

I hope you enjoyed the disappearing bath bubbles and the sperm in top hots. I sure did!

My mother in law had a pop-up book.  That book has made for some good Sunday dinner conversation over the years.

And, of course. I did a little Googling. Here’s what I found:

Dr. Berman: Having the Sex Talk with Your Kids

Download Handbook and Diagrams

I basically followed page 5 of the handbook in terms of what they needed to know. I even busted out the diagrams.

The Sex TalkHis responses?

  • “I’m starting to feel nauseous. I think I need a drink!”
  • “Do I have to do that when I grow up? I will have to wash my man parts off!”
  • “Take me away!”

After he had a little time to process it all:

  • “Mom, did you have to do that more than once?”
  • “I’d like a baby brother. Can you and dad go and fertilize?”

My Big Takeaways

  • I wanted my kids to hear it from me instead of “some kid on the playground”
  • I checked in with friend’s parents to see where their kids were at and how they’ve addressed it. Most of their friends had all ready had “the talk”
  • Spend some quality time after you have “the talk”. My son wanted to watch Phineas and Ferb together, my daughter wanted to play a board game.  They both clearly let me know they needed to do something relatively mindless after we had “the talk” but they both still wanted to spend time.
  • Answer their questions
  • It’s OK to laugh
  • Just as it was important to me that my kids have this conversation with me and my husband first, I assume that other parents feel the same. I emphasized that it’s not their job to teach their friends about sex, but that their friend’s parents needed to decide when they wanted to talk to their kids about it.
  • Summertime is a great time to have “the talk”. You know your child won’t be the one running around on the playground the next day telling everyone how babies are made and that Santa’s not real.

With that, the first bridge had been crossed. I breathed a bit of a sigh of relief knowing that I had done my parental duty and that I’m continuing to keep the door open for more conversations.  At least we’ve got the diagramming part over with.

Have you had “the talk” yet? How’d it go?

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Comments (4)

  1. Tami 07/30/2012 at 2:00 pm

    You don’t mention how old your child was/is.

    • Rachael Herrscher 07/30/2012 at 2:01 pm

      3rd/4th grade — I even worried that I had the talk a little late compared to some of my friends kids

  2. Amy 07/26/2012 at 5:33 am

    Geared up to do this this week, while on vacation. May be chickening out as I’m not as prepared as all this!

  3. Kim Orlandini 07/24/2012 at 12:01 pm

    We went through this about a year ago and found a lot of great resources and settled on a book by Mark Brown. It has been nice to have it out in the open and open up the communication with them, and they have questions from time to time but no more mystery so it isn’t a big deal. Thanks for your post!