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Do You Still Carry Your Child? Too Big to Carry?

I took my daughter to the mall this weekend.  I was carrying her and as I walked by the mattress store, the mattress salesman out front, unsuccessfully trying to lure people in, took one look at my daughter and said, “You are way too big for your mom to be carrying you.”

I had to bite my little “trying to be a good example” tongue because what I really wanted to say was, “Beat it, mattress man.”

She turned three on Friday.  But she looks like she’s four and she talks like she’s five.  Because of her appearance, I think people expect a little more from her than they should.  It’s going to take a few more years before this balances out, but in the meantime, when people expect a lot from you, and you still want to have a throw down over which pair of pajamas you’re going to wear, you’re at a little bit of an expectation disadvantage.

Yes.  I still carry her sometimes.  Is she too big to carry? She’s tall, and she’s 35 pounds, and her judgement is preschooler spotty.  Does she look for cars?  Not really.  Does she try to break free and dash through parking lots?  Sometimes.  Does she think breaking into a sprint in the middle of Bed, Bath and Beyond is hilarious?  Yes.

But soon all of this is going to pass, and she’s not going to ask to be picked up anymore.  Her judgement will change, and she’ll be more trustworthy.  In the meantime, she doesn’t need to get the idea that she’s “too big”  and if my back starts to hurt, that’s my choice as her mother.

So sir…beat it.

At what point did you stop carrying your children?

Who cares if I still want to carry this?

Mama choices…

You’re Doing Too Much

Motivation: Teachers or Parents?

Have You Spanked Your Child?

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Comments (19)

  1. Nat 07/20/2016 at 11:31 pm

    First, Ask your pediatrician what age they recommend not some stupid people who think they are above everyone else.

    Second, all you moms need to get your head out of butt and offer more encouraging words and support instead of putting other moms down. Some of those moms are single, maybe low income, and maybe more than one child. Think before opening your judgmental, better than you mouth.

  2. TheVoiceOfReason 12/28/2015 at 1:10 pm

    What a great idea. Keep carrying those toddlers, but please do us a favor and resist the urge to post later on about how your child has NO muscle tone.

  3. Diana Alvarez 10/17/2013 at 6:49 am

    I have a 5 year old and by the age of 3 she walked an entire mall. That is not bonding time. You want to bond with your child do it at home. Carrying a child so big is a poor excuse. No wonder there are so many spoiled kids now adays.

    • amber 03/17/2016 at 3:20 pm

      Only bond with your child at home????? You’re an idiot….and you’re rude as shit

  4. jason barns 03/29/2012 at 12:42 am

    My wife still carries our four year old “all the time” i could see if its once in a while but all the time.Im more of the independent type..I feel that at the age of four a child should somewhat start learning to do some things or feel that the parent should start at least showing them some thing like putting on there pants and shirt.I scared of my child being behind.I just feel that at the age of four a child should that 40lbs should be doing more than just being carried around,eating and sleeping…

  5. Anastasia @ eco-babyz 02/13/2012 at 2:01 pm

    Mine just turned three too! But she’s a peanut, 28 pounds. I don’t intend on stopping carrying her anytime soon even though most times my hands are full with my 3 month old. My husband carries her often. She’s growing up so fast, I’d rather carry her a little longer because soon that time will be over!

  6. CoolPlaygroundMommy 02/09/2012 at 10:35 am

    Amen! Mine is three and I carry her most of the time. It’s easier than chasing her all over the mall or worse, having her get out of her umbrella stroller.

  7. Carina Wytiaz 02/09/2012 at 1:59 am

    OK, but I have another question…

    Why did you bite your tongue? How is that being a good example for your daughter? Shouldn’t she know how to shut a man who is giving her unsolicited advice/comments down? Shouldn’t she learn that she doesn’t have to take that?

    • Shannon Nelson 02/09/2012 at 10:28 am

      That’s a valid question! She had just seen me not so happy over someone trying to steal my parking place, so perhaps that made me try to be well-behaved. I did say…”She’s only three” and shot him dagger looks as I kept walking. She should know that she doesn’t have to take that, but my first instinct was to say “Beat it mattress man”. She’s still so little and spongey that I try not to say anything that I don’t want the preschool teacher calling me about! I can totally see her telling another kid to beat it on the playground.

  8. Kathy 02/08/2012 at 10:14 pm

    Carry on!

  9. Tania 02/08/2012 at 3:13 pm

    My one and only will be 6 years old next month. I still carry her once in a while. I figured that one day she’ll be “grown up” and won’t want to do that. It is bonding time.

  10. Amy Allen Johnson 02/08/2012 at 2:55 pm

    My 7yo daughter says she wants Santa to bring me one more arm so she can be carried like her two “little” brothers. I love her hugs but I don’t think Santa needs to bring me a prosthetic. We’ll just give “1 at a time” piggy back rides.

  11. Zina 02/08/2012 at 2:37 pm

    One time in Berkeley I saw a 4-foot-nothing mom carrying her child in a sling. He looked to be about 3.5 feet tall, and 70 or 80 pounds.

    I might be exaggerating slightly, but that’s how it looked to me. I would never tell anyone their child was too big to carry, but I was amused. And a little worried for her back. But maybe she was uber-strong. (She would have to be, right?)

    • Rachael Herrscher 02/08/2012 at 3:12 pm

      lol! That paints such a good picture! Especially in Berkeley with a sling!

  12. Leslie 02/08/2012 at 1:33 pm

    She still looks so little to me in that picture! She is your baby. I still carry my 5 year old sometimes because she’s a bean pole. She protests but she’s my baby! My 3 year old is tiny and sometimes people treat her like a baby because of how little she is. I don’t understand why that old man would care anyway. Kids need to be kids as long as they can. Especially in today’s society.

  13. Kim 02/08/2012 at 12:52 pm

    My daughter is turning 8 and I will occasionally still carry her—until last summer, I did it all the time —not because she needed it but because she’s a “huggy”, loving little girl and I cherish any extra snuggles I can get!

  14. Carina Wytiaz 02/08/2012 at 12:47 pm

    Shannon, I would have been livid. I probably would have snapped “And you’re too old to be saying stupid things.”

    And then I would’ve kicked him in the shins and ran away.

  15. Erin Oltmanns 02/08/2012 at 10:25 am

    I say carry that kid as long as you can and want to.

    My daughter was the very same…she would straight up dart into traffic. My girl is 4 and weighs 44 pounds and carry her whenever she needs it. That’s why I lift weights. 🙂 Last week in a muddy parking lot, I had a 25 lb baby in one arm and a 44 pound preschooler in the other! Good thing it was a short trip.

    • Carina Wytiaz 02/08/2012 at 12:48 pm

      I remember one night when I carried my 7-year-old on my back, my four-year-old on my hip, and the baby in my tummy up the stairs.

      Good times…