Carina has been typing on the internets before there was a www in front of everything. This is why she’s cranky and wants to know when you’ll get off her lawn. She resides in a hopelessly outdated home in the Mountain West with a mathematician and three children hell-bent on destruction. Her laundry is not done, but her Twitter is totally up to date. Carina does not have a Tumblr, because get serious.

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Up All Night with Baby

Baby Lulu went to bed after her bath at 9:15 p.m., but it didn’t take.
So she and I watch the Single Ladies finale. She nurses and rocks and nurses and changes and nurses and rocks.
We try for bed again at 12:15 a.m., but after only 10 minutes she demands to be removed from her crib.

Every baby has their favorite position. I put her in her favorite position: facing out from my akimbo left arm, her limbs splayed, her head pitched back and almost dangling off my arm. We walk around the house picking up junk from the floor and picking out her brother’s clothes for the morning. To be honest, she doesn’t pick up a damn thing, just sits in my arms, staring around, fluffy hair blowing in the air conditioning.We nurse and rock and burp and nurse and wipe and nurse and spit up and burp and rock.

Her eyes look at me seriously as I pick her up underneath her arms and make her dance around. “Fat man in a little coat,” I giggle. She doesn’t get the reference. I watch Necessary Roughnessand fall asleep with her.

Someone needs a manicure

At 2:00 we walk up the stairs; I make a giant step to avoid the creakiest stair. She is asleep, doesn’t even twitch an eye, and I lay her down. Squawk! Squawk! she says, Pick me up! So I do. We move back and forth swaying in her little nursery next to the drapes I sewed, the pillows I made, the picture I painted, and the clothes I haven’t put away. I eye the leftover fabric that will someday be the bed skirt. Baby Lulu doesn’t look like she’s going to sleep this time, even though I’m pretty good at the Go-To-Sleep-Sway. We pose for pictures.

100% Authentic Under-eye Bags

I sing Stevie Wonder, then Ring Around the Rosies. We make silly smiles at each other. She gets a manicure. What I wouldn’t give for a pedicure.
Squawk! Squawk! she says, I am So Tired! Nurse, rock, burp, spit, nurse, burp, snuggle.
“Old soul in a new space suit, “ I say to her, echoing a friend’s words to me, “That’s what you are.” She dive bombs me with her head.
Squawk! I snug her in as close as she can get next to my heart.
Squawk! she cries and her red-rimmed lids close. Her body relaxes, legs losing their tension first, then everything else; she exhales with a tremble. It’s 4:36 a.m.

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  1. Pingback: Facebook Timeline: Roll With It « « TodaysMama TodaysMama

  2. Melanie H 08/31/2011 at 3:56 pm

    SO I’m NOT the only one who can’t get her baby to go to sleep at the beginning of the night! Once she’s been asleep, she’ll go right back… but it’s those few hours after brother is in bed and mama needs to be PRODUCTIVE that it’s most frustrating… and nonsensicle.

    I wish I understood…

  3. Anastasia B 08/28/2011 at 12:48 am

    This reminds me of the first 3 months with my daughter! I remember that feeling of being dead tired. It all changes so fast… Now I have #2 to look forward to and sleepless nights through November, December, January…

  4. Janet Thaeler 08/26/2011 at 12:54 pm

    I can never remember my advice when asked but this triggered the memory of the advice that saved me.

    It’s natural for us to nurture our babies. With Bjorn I was talking to my mom about the exhaustion I was feeling after getting up in the middle of the night for nights on end. I’d turn on the light, rock, talk and sing to him. I enjoyed the quiet time together but I was getting so tired.

    Here’s what my mom said. When you get up to feed him, make it boring. She said don’t turn on the light, don’t talk to, sing to or rock him. Just quietly feed him and then put him back to bed. She was right, after a while it wasn’t worth waking up for and he started sleeping through those nighttime meals.

    I snuggled and talked to him during the day instead and I was a lot happier!

    -Janet

  5. Natalia 08/25/2011 at 10:11 pm

    We’ve had a couple of similar nights. Except for when my daughter can’t fall asleep, she gets really mad and wails, which makes her even more mad because she is too wound up and can’t calm down. Poor baby.

  6. Erica Fehrman 08/25/2011 at 8:16 pm

    Oh, you’re such a good mama! She’s precious and knows she’s loved.

  7. Kalli 08/25/2011 at 3:40 pm

    I also have AUTHENTIC under eye bags, and even stress induced acne, combined with 1 year postpartum weight loss failure. THANKS BABY.

  8. Erin Oltmanns 08/25/2011 at 1:54 pm

    OMG. I feel like I just went vicariously back in time 3 months! She’s delicious.

  9. Jennifer 08/25/2011 at 9:25 am

    We have all been there!! My son is 16 months and daughter is 7. Believe it or not, when they get older, you miss sleeping with them in the recliner, all cuddled up together 🙂 Hope you get a nap today!

  10. CoolPlaygroundMommy 08/25/2011 at 8:44 am

    Hang in there, mama! BTW, I love the pictures — too, too cute :)!