Tracy Beckerman is the author of a wildly popular syndicated humor column called LOST IN SUBURBIA and a hilarious new book “Rebel without a Minivan”. It's all about the funny side of kids, dogs, husbands, and life in the 'burbs!

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My Holiday Newsletter 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

Woo-hoo…  It’s almost a new decade!!  Happy almost New Year to everyone! We hope you have had as great a year as we have!!

I know this has been a tough time for many people with the economy being so bad, the Swine Flu outbreak, and a shortage of Uggs, so I will try to keep that in mind as I relay all of our family’s humble accomplishments in my annual holiday letter.

Even in this recession, we were fortunate to still be able to travel.  We did scale back a bit and only visited six of the seven wonders of the world.  Although we were disappointed not to see them all, we were cheered by the fact that our son not only discovered some ancient hieroglyphics when we were on our way to see the Pyramids of Giza, but he was able to translate them, as well!  Looks like that summer post-graduate program he did when he was 6 years-old really paid off!!

Unfortunately our daughter was not able to go along on the trip. She has been in Washington for the year, helping President Obama put together his economic recovery plan.  We were so excited to learn that some of her ideas will help create 2.5 million jobs in the next two years. The great news is that even with all the time she spent in DC, she did not fall behind in her school work and will rejoin her classmates in the Middle School this year!

Of course, all was not completely rosy. Not one but TWO of our pet goldfish died this year. We only had them each for a day, but we had grown pretty attached to them in the short time that they were here and we were quite affected by their passings.   So, in honor of their short but meaningful lives, our son traveled to the jungles of Peru with their remains and participated in a ritual funeral ceremony with a reclusive indigenous Amazon tribe before committing their small fish bodies to the river.  We can all rest easy knowing our beloved goldfish have received a proper sendoff befitting such dearly departed members of our family.  (By the way, in lieu of flowers, please make a donation in honor of Ludwig and Johan to the Hebrew Home for Aged Goldfish).

Life at home for my husband and I is pretty much the same old, same old. He’s working on a solution for Global Warming in his spare time and it is just about near completion – and I continue to train deaf Labradoodles to be seeing eye dogs for blind cats.

And speaking of dogs, I’m sure you heard on the news that we took our dog Riley for a walk near Giants Stadium and he sniffed out the final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa!  Mystery Solved!!  Riley got an extra helping of Dog Chow that night!

Anyway, hope you and yours are enjoying a wonderful holiday season.  And just a reminder, please contact us soon if you’d like a piece of moon rock that the kids brought back from their trip during space camp this summer!

Hugs and kisses,

Tracy Beckerman and family

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Comments (5)

  1. Rose Valenta 11/30/2010 at 2:31 am

    Love it, Tracy! I’m inspired. We haven’t had such an exciting year, here. Although we did manage to go on a Hoboken Food Tour.

  2. Familyfreedominfo 11/29/2010 at 3:14 pm

    Love your style of writing! …and in your personal profile it talks about you “living in the burbs”, if you haven’t seen it yet, go to you tube and watch this video….you will crack a rib laughing so hard!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

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  4. Jennifer Belo 11/29/2010 at 1:06 pm

    PRICELESS and absolutely hysterical!!!