Tracy Beckerman is the author of a wildly popular syndicated humor column called LOST IN SUBURBIA and a hilarious new book “Rebel without a Minivan”. It's all about the funny side of kids, dogs, husbands, and life in the 'burbs!

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My Holiday Newsletter

Dear Friends and Family,

After receiving so many scintillating holiday newsletters this year, I wanted to chime in with our humble family news!

First of all, our kids are doing great! You know our son has taken up the electric guitar? He got so good this year that he actually opened for the Rolling Stones when they played the Garden! They really want him to take over for Keith Richards, but we think he should finish middle school before he goes on tour… especially since he will be missing a significant amount of school when he goes to Africa to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and then helps rebuild an entire village that got flattened by an elephant stampede.

Our daughter has been busy too. She is studying Chemistry in her 5th grade science class. While she was mapping out the complete DNA of a lemur, she stumbled upon a cure for baldness. No, it certainly won’t save lives, but we’re proud of her just the same! She will begin developing the formula just as soon as she gets back from her Hawaiian triathlon to raise money for AWAA (Adults with Acute Acne).

The kids had a great time at camp this summer. They were two of only six children from the U.S. that were chosen to live on the NASA space station out in the Earth’s orbit for six weeks. We missed them, but we had a fantastic time on our vacation this summer! While we were following the Emperor Penguins on their migration across the Antarctic, a polar avalanche uncovered a frozen caveman that they say is the missing link between men and apes! It was quite an exciting discovery. We can’t wait for the VIP unveiling at the Smithsonian after we get home from our trip to help orphans in a remote village near Machu Pichu in the spring!

Of course not everything was a piece of cake this year. You know my dear husband is building us a new house completely on his own in his spare time and there have been some complications with the indoor waterfall and lagoon. He did such a fantastic job with the luge run out back, though, that we’re confident he will work out the kinks with the lagoon. The good news is we’re still on track to have the whole thing done by the time he has to go to Brussels to receive his Nobel Prize.

As for me… I’m just happy to be home and revel in the sunshine of my family’s love and accomplishments while I work on my acceptance speech for the Mother of the Millennium award I am getting from the President this year!

Anyway, hope all is well with you and yours and you have a wonderful and very

happy holidays!

Fondly,
Tracy Beckerman

P.S. Thanks to everyone for your get-well wishes to our dog Riley. He got a little singed when he pulled our neighbors out of their burning home last month, but he’s doing fine!

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